Thursday, August 17, 2006

the shit that hit the fan

so yesterday i get in and am greeted with this email sent to me after i had already left for home the day of the skirmish:

"Nikki let's talk about this first thing tomorrow. You ask for a time limit and you come back with impossible. I expected you to begin work on this when you came in after working things out with GSU today."

in other words, he was pissed. so pissed in fact, that he was in the office when i got there. this cat is NEVER in before i am. yeah, nikki was immediately on guard. i started formulating what i was gonna say when i saw him. i had been sitting there maybe two minutes when i look up and see him in the doorway.

"let's meet at eight."

then he turns and heads back down to his office. surely he's not gonna fire me this early in the morning right? as someone who is familiar with the whole termination dance, i understand how that shit is done. they get a day's work out of you before they give you the boot. i have to admit, my heart stopped a bit cuz i never know what to expect from dan, and after the way diane had jacked our working relationship, i knew i had no reason to trust that the meeting would go well. i knew i had to arm myself. i began printing out my job duties and the list of tasks i'd been given to complete this week and the emails and ran through the confrontation again in my mind. i glance at the clock on my phone.

ten minutes...

i walked down the hallway, grabbed nebraska boy and we headed outside so i could clear my head. i told him what went down. i'm not even sure why. i mean, i generally don't discuss any personal issues with other co-workers. however, nebraska boy and i have been cool with each other for five years and i'm probably closest with him than anybody else there. and yeah, he's nebraska down to the bone...tall, caucasian, buzz hair cut, former football player and marine AND republican. meanwhile, we still cool and we spend our breaks together. don't get it twisted though, it ain't that kind of thing. he ain't trying to get with the swirl and neither am i. LOL

anyway, i told him what happened, starting with the incident a few years ago (i'd never told him about that). i told him that being one of only two black people working there left me on edge because the feeling of distrust seemed to be focused solely on me and i wonder if my race had anything to do with it. he said he didn't think my race was an issue with dan because dan is extra sensitive about that kind of thing. he told me how he called one of our co-workers 'pollock' a couple of years ago in jest and how dan ended up sending out an email about the importance of being 'respectful of differences'. i never saw that damn email though.

nebraska boy said he wasn't sure about diane though. i told him i appreciated his candor. he wished me good luck with the meeting and told me not to go in there defensive cuz i did everything i was supposed to do.

so eight o'clock rolls around and i'm in dan's office with my stuff and before i even sit down dan apologizes.

"i'm sorry for how things happened with this task. it was my responsibility to set a deadline for you."

"dan, it wasn't just about you giving me the deadline. the deadline in itself was unreasonable, given the amount of work you've given to me to do."

he sat there for a minute looking contrite.

"you're right. i've given you alot of additional responsibilities lately."

i sat there looking at him like DUH.

"yes, and especially this week, with all of them having a deadline of friday."

"i understand. i want you to take a three hour block today and work on this. then we'll meet at 1 p.m. to let me know how you're progressing. don't worry about the deadlines this week. i really need your help on this."

i sighed inwardly and acknowledged the fact that he was being completely fair at this point and even apologized, something i didn't expect him to do at all.

"okay," i responded, "i'll get as much of it done as i can. is the deadline still this afternoon?"

"no," he said, "the deadline's tomorrow at noon."

he hands me the stack and it looks like it's half the stack i had initially been given by diane. i feel a little better.

"dan, i have no problem with taking on additional work. if this had been given to me last week, all of this could have been avoided. all i ask is that people respect the fact that my day is just as full as everyone elses and i need a reasonable amount time to get things done."

"thanks, nikki."

he looked up at me and smiled as he nodded in agreement.

"again, you're right nikki. i will do a better job of that in the future."

the meeting went way better than i expected.

so after i have the stack in my office, i pull up the database (one i created for diane's ass so she could do her fucking job), i notice i hadn't added a filter feature that would make the data entry easier. i added one and knew the task would only take an hour to complete when i was finished adding some other things to the database to make the job easier.

fucked around on the computer for a minute, then finished the data entry in 45 minutes.

and proceeded to drag that shit for the entire fucking day. in fact, i was still 'working' on it this morning.

now i thought i was slick right? i get in this morning and sit at my desk, thinking i was gonna wait until noon to tell them i was finished. i glance around my desk and notice one pile of my other tasks as grown higher since yesterday. turns out diane has slipped the other half of the damn stack under my shit. oh HELL nah. that shit pissed me off. now i considered going into her office and going the fuck off, but i ended up just doing the entry, which took 30 minutes.

so i finished the entire thing in a little over an hour and now i'm milking that fucking cow until she spurting out dust. the way i see it, if she wants to hand it to me at the last minute, then i can hand it to her at the last minute so she see what it feels like. i've learned that lesson folk. don't be too competent or folk will continue to load their shit on you. dan gave me until noon today, and i'm 'working' on it until noon.

i'm still debating on whether or not to tell her about the upgrades i made to the database. on the one hand, i wanna say fuck it and keep it to myself. meanwhile, i ain't trying to let her stank get into my spirit, you know?

so i've decided to compromise...i'll tell her about the week.