Monday, August 21, 2006

random thoughts monday

i really want to know who thought it was a good idea to make dr. do.little of the sea a superhero? i have never seen the need for the ability to talk to sea animals unless i'm telling a catfish to jump on my plate cleaned and grilled with a splash of lemon juice on it.

really, someone could have come up with a guy who had the ability to make people choke on food and he'd be more powerful than this cat. super chokeabro'nho could take out all the bad guys with a snap from his fingers. instantly, food would become lodged in the esophagus and the bad guy would keel over dead. it would be impervious to the heim.lich maneuver as the piece of food would adhere itself permanently to the lining of the throat. if he had been around a few years ago, this 'humanitarian mission' in irag would be over before it began.

then again, i can't really hate on aqu.aman like that. the more i think on it, the more i realize his skills could really be useful...i mean, he could command cod to leap onto drug boats and flap around on the deck violently enough to shatter the wood into dangerous slivers of killer timber. the guy reaches down to get at the fish and is assaulted by the flying pieces of wood, ending up with a vicious splinter in his finger. he is later hampered from using his ber.etta during a gun battle when the bandage on his trigger finger is too cumbersome, thus forcing him to use his other hand to shoot, which in turn proves to be fatal cuz he misses his target and ends up with a bullet in the head. (fyi to the animators of the superfriends. images like this DO NOT instill fear in the folk over at the legi.on of doom.)

aqu.aman could also command crabs to jump into the pubic hair of his mortal enemies. you can't tell me crabs in the crotch won't kill a person cuz the itching itself is annoying as FUCK. this won't work on lex luthor though cuz it's obvious he shaves his shit.

wait... you saying those ain't the same kind of crabs? aiight, then this dude is WORTHLESS.

okay, on to more random thoughts...

first, my shout out to fellow blogger king. congrats on his one-year anniversary! i remember when i first checked his blog out (i found him through gapeach) and i was like "is he cute?" i couldn't really tell cuz the photo was too fucking small on his profile, but i was digging the fact he was dark-skinned (i'm a sucka for a brotha dipped in darkness) so i sat and read his blog with my shallow ass. turns out he had some wit about him but i was hating his king demeanor so i mostly just lurked until i saw him post something serious, at which point i commented. he's one of those writers who surprises you cuz you think because he's funny that he's just one for cracking jokes, but he's a gifted writer too. enough with the props. i'll leave the rest of that nut sucking to his women. check out his blog if you wanna laugh and be amazed by moments of brilliance.

fyi to the dudes who think they gotta jump through hoops to get a sista caught up. reading a book to her by candlelight? oh, now THAT'S the SHIT.

something tells me michael is gonna suck this year. please tell me i'm wrong cuz i really want to be.

sept. 3 fantasy football folk. don't forget to get your draft list together cuz i ain't trying to hear any excuses when i whup on dat ass.

i dreamt about you for the first time ever. i'm still shocked about that shit. don't read anything into it. LOL

you know, what started off feeling like pain has evolved into a feeling of power. i refuse to see a past experience as bad. that shit helped me to grow, even if it meant me growing away from you.

damn, the yank.ees spanked the red out of those sox this weekend. what the fuck happened to them?!?

i don't know which i miss more, fucking or sucking dick. right now, i'm tempted to call a friend and be like "look, just let me lick it for a minute (that's all it'd take, hehehe) oh, and mike, don't be commenting on how you can't find a sista who can suck you to orgasm. we GET IT already. lol

one thing i love about this blog here is that i get to check all of the footsteps i've made since last year, the missteps into places of despair and the leaps into new more glorious territory. no matter what goes on in my life that i put on here, i'm always gonna keep this damn blog cuz it's all a part of a beautiful journey into the next moment of my life. i am ashamed of none of it, not the moments when i looked less than perfect, when i allowed my emotions to rule my actions negatively, when i cracked open the contents of my heart and read them to you and you relived your own pain. i am not perfect, but i am created with divine purpose, so any and all things i experience are a part of that purpose. i honor all of the moments here, recognizing their value in my evolution.

EDIT: i had to add this per amadeo. dude, i CRIED. lol