nigga please...

how many of you out there know my biz? want to know why you don't? cuz discretion is important, especially in blogland where the biz can spread fast. i know i write alot of shit in my blog and i get real candid about that shit too from time to time. meanwhile, i keep my personal life as personal as possible. i might wax poetic about a brotha i'm feeling at the time, might talk about how much i wanna fuck him or something, might discuss my mother's alcoholism, my own problems with my self-image, but i never, EVER get specific enough by naming names or some shit like that.

there's a reason for that shit too. it's called showing respect for the privacy of others. you will never hear from my lips who i'm digging or whether or not he's digging me because that's fucking NUNYA.

i just recently found myself in a situation that escalated without me even knowing there was an issue. this is the second fucking time i find myself embroiled in some shit involving the same fucking folk and it made me realize how necessary it is to really extricate myself from folks space. some folk just bring shit with them and somehow, some kind of fucking way, that shit ends up right on my doorstep. then my actions get misunderstood and assumptions are made instead of just checking with me to see what the deal is.

well i'm fucking tired of explaining myself as if i've done something wrong. if you need proof of my sincerity check my fucking blog. if you need clarity on what i'm about, check my fucking blog. and if you got questions about my shit, check with ME. i keep that shit real and POSITIVE. you won't see me dissing folk because of what they wear, you won't see me writing about so and so blogger and how he/she is fucked up. you won't see me passing judgement on folk and calling them something disrepectful just cuz they behave in a way i don't agree with as i recognize everybody got their struggle and who the fuck am i to judge that shit? they do them. i do me. that's how that shit goes in my world. you WILL see me holding myself accountable for the shit i do cuz that's what fucking grown folk do. i won't hate on others. i recognize whatever goes on with me is of my own fucking doing, not someone elses. in this case, i'm in this situation cuz i made the choice to surround myself with folk who weren't on the same page of no drama as i am. that's my fault, which is why the extrication is taking place posthaste.

when i praise your shit it's sincere, cuz i love the written word and appreciate those talented enough to make that shit sing. when i give you encouragement that shit is real because i have my own struggles and fucking appreciate those who get up everyday to face theirs and are courageous enough to share their struggles and triumphs with the rest of us. if you can't see that shit by now, that's on you. if you think it better to not get the whole story and roll with what you're feeling, again you gotta do you. meanwhile, i'm pissed the fuck off i even gotta devote blog space to this shit, as i haven't had any beef with anybody (and still don't as far as i'm concerned), but my fucking integrity is at stake and i'll be damned if i sit silently and get ripped.

i've said my piece now and won't be addressing this shit ever again. either you feeling me or you don't. either you dig my words or you don't. if you don't, there's a nice, conveniently placed 'x' sitting in the upper right hand corner of your monitor. you can click that shit and erase my ass from your screen as though i never existed in your hemisphere and go on with your life as though i was little more than a blip on your fucking screen.

i don't want to, nor do i feel as though i have to change my shit because i've nothing to be ashamed of as far as my actions here are concerned. i ain't trying to hurt anyone's feelings here. that's never been my purpose. i write what i feel and try to enlighten, entertain, and uplift folk when i can. meanwhile, what you fucking see is what you fucking get.

how you interpret that shit is on you.

the end. and i mean that shit.