Wednesday, November 16, 2005

pt 1. what a girl wants sexually

there is no such thing as perfection, only imperfection that's perfect enough for me handle. with that in mind, i've put together a list of what i would want in a man. the first part lists the sexual requirements in no particular order:

1. like to have your dick sucked at spontaneous moments. i shouldn't feel bad or awkward for pulling out your penis at unspecified times, like right before you gets out of your car to come into the house, or when we're in a restaurant and have just placed our order for drinks, or while watching a movie in a theater. otherwise you might miss out.

2. know how to eat pussy. if a brotha gotta pull out some skin flicks to take notes, so be it. if you need me to write down in detail how i like it, i'll do it. either way, it's up to you to take the initiative and make sure you're not just rolling your tongue around with no clue as to what points you're supposed to hit. knowing how to eat pussy also means you doesn't mind the way a pussy smells and tastes. no, it don't smell like roses, but it don't smell like rank tuna, either. it smells like sex, and if you don't mind the smell of it on your dick, then you shouldn't mind the smell or taste of it on your mouth, either.

3. be confident enough to initiate sex and adventurous enough to make sex interesting. if you're horny, don't be afraid to let me know. odds are, i'm down with it, too. if i'm not, i'll tell you. if i'm not down, it's probably because you initiated it like a wimp. "uh, let's get naked." yeah...a real turn on. how about "i want to fuck you right now." while stroking your dick in your hand. now THAT will get you jumped on immediately. also, being adventurous doesn't mean fucking with the lights on. it means you're down for whatever, whenever. if i say i want to ride you and we're on our way somewhere, it means pulling the car over and getting the job done. if you are spontaneously horny, it means telling me, no matter where we are, and us finding a way to handle the situation.

4. be a good kisser. this is VERY important. if i have to wipe your saliva off of my chin after kissing you, something ain't right. if i'm shitting parts of your tongue out a couple of hours later, that means you've stuck it too far down my throat and i've digested part of it. if my tongue has bruises on it because you've slapped that slab of meat between your lips around the inside of my mouth like you're trying to break through concrete, i'm gonna bite it off. i like an aggressive thrust, just know the limits. also, i would prefer to be consumed in the kiss. put your body into it. a kiss is nothing without the other body parts (unless you're trying to tease, which ain't a bad thing...)

5. be good with your hands. there is a fine line between being passionate and being painful. find that line and don't cross it. also, i like gentle hands, but not all of the time. a smack on the ass can add sensuality to intimacy. you have my permission to grab my ass as much as you want, just as long as you don't gauge out skin. find my sensitive spots and make sure your hands know how to stroke each one properly.

6. keep the scrotum clean. i don't mean scrubbing the thing down with a brillo pad, nor do i mean keeping it powdered like it's a baby's ass. i mean making sure it's not so rank it singes my nose hairs when i go down to visit. if you've just finished doing something that required you to sweat, take a shower and make sure you hit under the scrotum with the wash cloth. it seems like there are alot of brothas out there who don't realize just how much stank can accumulate just in the crevice between the scrotum and his legs. this is more for your benefit than mine. if you're stinking down there, i'm not sucking your dick. period.

7. be sincere in your seduction. in other words, be good at it, but don't be so good it looks calculated. if you've got the lights timed to dim at a certain time during the foreplay, i'm leaving. if you've got a cd entitled "booty fucking music" or some other variation on that title, i'm leaving. fucking ain't a transaction to me, so don't treat me like a customer. i love candles and sensual music. just don't go about "setting the mood" for sex like you set the table for dinner. if it's that methodical to you, i'm not feeling it.

8. know how to use your instruments. i've had them in all shapes and sizes and one thing i've learned is that a guy having a big dick doesn't guarantee my satisfaction. don't go thinking just because i need two hands to wrap my hands around your dick means all you have to do is pump your hips back and forth. educate yourself on where the g spot is. don't think just cuz you see women having orgasms all over the place on skin flicks that it's as simple as sticking your dick in the twat and the rest takes care of itself. all of that shit is fiction. i guarantee those women are faking orgasms 80% of the time if they're cumming during intercourse. if you want a woman to cum during intercourse, know how to work your hips and know how to work your angles. it's like billiards. you know how you have to find the right angle and stroke in order to get the ball into the pocket? same here. find the right angle and stroke to get a sista to orgasm.

9. know MY instruments. this is probably redundant, as i've alluded to this a couple of times already, but it needs special consideration. educate yourself on all aspects of the pussy and other errogenous zones. don't guess on this. what works for some other girl you fucked might not work with me. all of our pussies are different, and it's up to you to find out how much and adjust accordingly.

10. bring a condom. unless i'm married to you, i ain't fucking you without it.

11. MAKE SURE I CUM, DAMNIT. 'nuff said.