Sunday, November 13, 2005

football's about damn time!

i've been waiting on you for six days! what took you so long???

aiight, now that you're here, i'm all excited and my clit is throbbing...what you gonna do about it? before you go nibbling at my nipples, help me out here. i've gotta decide if i should start mark brunell or kyle orton on one of my fantasy league teams. i know what you're thinking...on paper it looks to be an easy choice, right? brunell has twelve touchdowns and only three interceptions while orton has seven touch downs and nine interceptions. why am i waffling, you ask.

well if you look a little closer you'll realize brunell is playing against tampa bay this week. yeah, THAT tampa bay. the guys with the second-ranked pass defense, having only allowed THREE passing tds the entire YEAR so far. let's not forget to add the fact that with chris simms being his mediocre self, the game is bound to be a low scoring affair with alot of running and very little throwing. i doubt brunell tosses more than a touchdown.

meanwhile orton is playing against san francisco. SAN FRANCISCO FOR GOODNESS SAKES. they've got the WORST passing defense in the LEAGUE, having given up 17 passing tds. only sorry ass tennessee has given up more (18). sure kyle only got me what, three points last week? sure i traded away my top running back for brunell a couple of days ago. so what if brunell has santana moss? orton has muhsin muhammad! remember that guy? he's the one who was catching all the td passes last year in carolina when steve smith went down. surely that gives orton the chance to really put up some hellufied numbers today, right?

damnit, i'm going with my woman's intuition here. i'm putting in orton. if i suffer as a result of this move, so be it. you'd better hope i don't lose, though. you know how NOT in the mood i become when my teams lose.

in fact, don't fuck with me until the games are over. while i don't mind giving you a blowjob at any other time, i refuse to be distracted from today's games. well, maybe i can be distracted for a moment, but ONLY during halftime, and i'll only swallow if you promise to cook dinner later.