sometimes...

"This is a song that makes me spill out all my guts
Sometimes..."

i'm in one of those moods...one of those moods where i reject the light trying to encroach upon my night.

sometimes i can't operate properly when it's too bright, when everything's aiight.

sometimes i do my best work in the dark, where my thoughts are free to freeze into structured entries of recognizable ranting.

sometimes i need to be in in that mental winter and pee ruminations into the snow before packing the flakes of coherent moments into the form of frosty's girlfriend, complete with two commas for eyes curved closed in forced merriment, an askew exclamation point for a nose dangling over a question mark of a crooked smile, the finishing touch being a line of shiny periods trailing down her torso.

she exists in those times when my life is too barren to bear the fruit of new ideas, too cold for anything other than old things to grow. she's that entry i bring out when the ancient foliage in my brain has turned brown from over tilling of its soil.

sometimes there has to be few things going right before i have a clear view of just how rare true happiness is. my reach is then unemcumbered by false contentment.

sometimes i don't want protection from the infected mental fuck, cuz i need that diseased skeet to enflame my brain into the focused function fueled by my fury.

"Sometimes, you got me wishing I didn't have home training
Sometimes, then it wouldn't hurt me so bad
With dreams of knocking you in your head
Then it wouldn't hurt me so bad
With our kitchen knife put up yo ass ..."

sometimes i like to write out of spite, slashing through his soul with pointed paragraphs as incisions of innuendo cut his composure into the caricature his pretend image really is. he's 'bugs the fuck out of me' bunny, the ceramic centerpiece in a world existing only in his mind, and all i wanna do is smash his fucking future into a million unattainable peaces.

i speak of my night mind in light, exposing my capacity for destruction, willing to watch you step back in disgust at the contradictions of my dimensions. i'm cool with that shit.

cuz sometimes i see you operating in the dark, too.