Saturday, February 04, 2006

my dream will be my reality

i dreamt of my uncle last night. my uncle homey who died in december. i was shocked to see him there, cuz frankly, i'd never dreamt of him when i was alive. he and i weren't as close as we could have been because he was too angry with the unhappiness of his life to embrace those around him.

anyway, in my dream i'm sitting in a room that was familiar to the dreaming me when he walks in. we just stared at each other, sizing each other up like we were wary of the intimacy of the moment. even in the dream i knew he wasn't supposed to be there because he was supposed to be dead. i felt an overwhelming wave of profoundness in the moment, like i knew he was there for a reason...a life-altering reason.

he started talking to me, but now that i think back on the dream, i can't remember what he was saying to me. we had a long conversation, too.

i awoke with a start, a stream of adrenaline coursing through my body. i'd only had four hours of sleep, but it felt like i'd had a whole eight hours. i lay there staring at the ceiling, feeling in tuned with myself for the first time in a long time. the silence of the room was the fertile soil from which the thoughts of my mind were unfurling, their crystalized petals becoming the staircase leading me to a higher level of self-awareness.

i climbed those stairs, the burden upon my heart crumbling to crunch beneath my feet as i headed towards the light ahead of me.

the light into day. the light into knowing. the light into now.