Tuesday, April 11, 2006

but you'd rather make it hard...

pt.1: it could all be so simple...

i closed my eyes.

maybe he's not really here.

i inhaled slowly in a vain attempt to calm my nerves. the lavender and amber notes of his cologne invaded my nostrils and spread throughout my being as i remembered the familiar scent.

he still wears eternity?

i thought back to the night i gave him his first bottle of that cologne. until then brotha hadn't worn anything other than the smell of jergens soap and flamebroiled burgers. earlier that day i had walked through macy's at lenox mall looking for some lipstick and became captivated by the scents wafting around me from the men's cologne section. i'm a sucker for smell goods, so i'd gone over there just to sniff around and fantasize about the various places i could splash the colognes on leron. the saleswoman was so effective though, i ended up abandoning the task of purchasing lipstick for the more important one of buying my man some eternity cologne by calvin klein.

when leron got home from work that night, he walked into the bedroom to find candles lit everywhere and me naked and sitting upright on the bed, a stack of pillows behind my back. my legs were spread and bent so that my kneecaps faced the ceiling. i was grinning broadly as his eyes widened at the scene before him, slowly devouring each inch of my form as his eyes went from my erect nipples to my stomach to the dark patch of pubic hair at the juncture where my thighs met...to the small bottle of cologne nestled up against my pussy.

"this cologne smells heavenly," i purred softly with a mischievous grin on my face, "but it doesn't smell half has good as my pussy tastes."

then i slowly trailed my finger down my body, grabbed the bottle, and rubbed it against my pussy lips until the top of it glistened wet in the candlelight. i brought the bottle to my mouth, stuck my tongue out, and swirled it slowly around the top until i had licked it dry. the whole time i never took my eyes off of him.

"mmmmm," i said with a wink, "i was right...not nearly as good."

his mouth dropped as he looked at what i'd just done. then he frantically started undressing, tearing the clothes from his body like a madman.

"i'm about to fuck the SHIT out of you RIGHT NOW," he said as he flung his clothes all over the room. once he was naked he tried to make a running leap for the bed...and tripped over his shoes before falling face first onto the side of the mattress. i yelped as i saw his body slide to the floor below.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" i howled as i peered over the mattress and saw him sprawled on the floor. i was still laughing hard when he slipped once as he tried to get up onto the bed. i grabbed for my stomach as the tears started falling from my eyes. i couldn't stop laughing. he looked so cute as he made a couple of attempts to jump onto the bed before flopping with frustration onto the floor.

"baby..." i squealed in between giggles, "if you take off your socks, you won't slip!"

he looked up at me perched over the bed. he frowned.

"nik, you know i don't take off my socks for NOBODY. not even YOU."

i shook my head in disbelief. we'd been together for SIX MONTHS at that point and i'd yet to see a brotha's feet. yeah, he even made love to me with the damn socks on. in fact, the only time he ever had his socks off in front of me was when we took showers together. i remembered trying to get a peek at his feet through the sheets of water beating against my face. i never got more than a blurred image of them. afterwards, he'd wait until i got out of the bathroom before he exited the tub. by the time he'd reached the bedroom, his socks were on his feet.

i'd begun to wonder if the boy had missing toes or something.

"but baby" i responded to his stubborness that night, the laughter and incredulity vibrating through my voice, "we've been together for six months! how long do you think you can go without showing me your feet???"

"as long as necessary," he answered defiantly, a bit breathless as he again tried to get up and hop onto the bed. i grabbed his arm and helped him up as the socks slipped once again on the carpet. he finally fell heavily across the bed, his head facedown in my lap.

his voice was muffled as he spoke again.

"nik, this bottle smells good. what is it?"

i giggled again as i felt his lips move against my vagina.

"it's eternity for men."

"this is for me?" he asked as he turned his head swiftly to look up into my eyes. i placed my hands on his head and started massaging his scalp.

"yes, beloved," i answered quietly, my gaze intently on him as i watched his eyes close and his head still so i could continue massaging. i could have sworn i heard that man purr like a kitten.

after a few more minutes of me massaging his scalp he opened his eyes and reached for me. taking my face into his hands, he brought it down to his and kissed my lips softly.

"you know what, nikki?"

"what, boo?"

"you always make me feel like i'm loved. i've never felt so loved before." he was staring deeply into my eyes as he said it. i was speechless. what does a sista say in response to that?

"i love you, leron."

my hands cradled his face as our eyes locked. i tried staring into his as deeply as he was staring into mine but i got self-conscious quickly and turned away. i felt like he was seeing just a bit too much of my soul.

he grabbed my chin with his fingertips and turned my face back towards him.

"i love you too, nikki."

then he did the most amazing thing.

he sat upright, reached for his feet, and pulled off his socks.

his feet were a lighter shade of brown than the rest of his body and very ashy in the flickering candlelight, the crust on the heels so thick i wondered silently if he knew he was supposed to scrape off the dead skin every now and again. he had all of his toes, but the nails were brown and flaking. what was that about?

"i've got a nailbed infection," he responded to my silent inquiry, "i've had it since i played football in high school."

i glanced at his feet once more before i leaned over, kissed him on the cheek, and jumped off the bed.

"where you going??" he asked my fleeting form.

"i'll be right back," i yelled over my shoulder.

i came back five minutes later with a bucket filled with warm, soapy water. i'd grabbed my pedicure tools and had them in my hand as i walked to the side of the bed. i placed the bucket next to the bed.

"put your feet in here," i commanded.

"what are you about to do???" he asked, a skeptical look on his face.

i dropped to my knees on the floor and placed the pedicure tools next to me, a smirk on my face as i glanced up at him.

"i'm gonna give you a pedicure, of course."

his eyes grew wide as he stared at me.

"what??" he responded incredulously.

"i said i'm giving you a pedicure." i placed my hands on my hips for emphasis.

"men don't get pedicures!" he exclaimed.

i sighed and rolled my eyes at him. does this brotha have to make EVERYTHING a fucking battle???

"baby...," i started with deliberate enunciation, "just let me do this for you, please?"

we stared each other down, a battle of wills over the most ridiculous of things. i mean, i was trying to pamper the brotha and he was caught up in the 'non-masculineness' of the action. utterly ridiculous. after a minute of the staring battle, he finally relented, swinging his feet over and dumping them into the bucket. water sloshed over the edges and soaked the surrounding carpet. i rolled my eyes again.

"don't go painting my toenails or anything crazy like that," he mumbled.

i just shook my head.

"let your feet soak for about ten minutes," i instructed. " in the meanwhile..."

i reached for his dick and slowly started stroking it with my wet hands. i leaned forward and took the head into my mouth. i figured it was the only way to distract him from the fact he had to leave his feet in a bucket of water for ten minutes.

five minutes later, he was struggling to keep his feet in the bucket as he convulsed uncontrollably, his hips arching as his dick expanded and exploded in my mouth. the cum slid down my throat and i swallowed it quickly as i heard him moaning above me.

"OUCH!" he yelled in anguish.

"what?!?" i asked frantically, "did i hurt something???"

he reached down and grabbed one of his calves, rubbing it feverishly.

"charlyhorse," he gasped, the pain shadowed in his voice.

i started laughing again as i assisted him in rubbing out the cramp in his calf. minutes later, i was sitting flat on the floor with his foot in my lap as i scrapped off the dead skin, trimmed and buffed the nails, and massaged peppermint lotion into the toes and heel. i repeated the actions to the other foot.

his feet looked almost brand new when i was finished. he was impressed.

"i gotta admit," he said in wonder as he looked down at his feet and flexed his toes, "my feet look and feel AMAZING!"

i gave him the cheesy grin as i grabbed the bucket and tools and went to the bathroom. after dumping the contents of the bucket into the toilet, i put up the tools and stepped back into the room.

his skin was chocolate gold in the candlelight as he lay across the bed, his hard dick in his hand as he stroked it slowly.

i raised an eyebrow.

"you ain't off the hook, woman," he said slyly, "i'm still gonna fuck the shit out of you."

he made love to me that night for the first time with his socks off.

the next day i went to the drug store and after some questions to the pharmacist, bought leron some over the counter medication for his nailbed infection. when i gave it to him later that night, he looked like he was gonna cry.

instead, he made love to me for the second night with his socks off. he never again wore socks in bed. in fact, from that moment on he rarely wore his socks on when we were in the house together. it was like the brotha's toes had been set free. he was looking for a reason to walk around barefoot. we made up for lost time, playing footsies, massaging each other's feet as we watched television together, sucking on toes during sex. it was all good from that point.

i was remembering it all as i stood there in front of leron with my eyes closed, trying to wish him away.


standing in front of me.

looking at me with the same look he'd had in his eyes when we first met.

you know, THAT look.


the brotha i spent three years of my life loving and hating...but mostly loving.


the first guy i ever shared my home with, my bed with, my heart with.


the first guy to share with me his dreams, his doubts, his fears...his feet.


the first guy i actually felt i couldn't live without.


the first guy to tell me i broke his heart when we broke up.


what the fuck was he doing HERE???

tomorrow's installment: loving you is like a battle...