Monday, March 27, 2006

you gonna hafta sleep in ya car, money...

"hey, this is hassan. this has been a really horrible day. i've been bumped from my room at the days inn..."

so basically the first time i hear a brotha on my phone (he left a message), he's talking about a really shitty beginning to his visit to my city. this is gonna go really well...

by the time i made it home, i was hesitating about even calling him back. i mean, if he's in a really crappy mood, do i want to talk to him? HELL NAH. then again, he needed to let off some steam after that whole debacle, so i went ahead and called him back. yeah, i got an ear full about how fucked up the hotel situation was in atlanta, which ultimately had a brotha taking up temp residence in a 'contagious coochie cottage'. i call it that because it was located right on the stripper strip of cheshire bridge road. anybody from the atl who knows about atl knows about cheshire bridge road. there is literally a strip club every one hundred yards or so, and in between the strip clubs are prostitutes roaming the streets selling their wares. where do you think they go when they've found their 'john'? uh yeah...hassan's motel, that's where. i was envisioning black light stains of encrusted cum on the dirty carpet from where guys pulled out and sprayed everywhere, the clouded saliva stains from really sloppy blowjobs haphazardly printed onto the bedsheets, a dirty g-string with skid marks dangling from the bedpost, and used condoms, crunchy and yellow, slung into the dark corners of his room. brotha was basically taking up occupancy in the herpes-infested vagina of a crackhead. *shivers*

of course, hassan wasn't comfortable AT ALL. he was supposed to be here until monday but that motel situation put a serious crimp in his mood and he was ready to bounce after one day. i don't blame him, although i told him after the ncaa regionals were done (sunday was the last day), he could get a hotel room at a more quality location. after he lamented for a minute about the motel, we decided to meet for a late lunch. when i got to the motel to pick him up, he was standing in the parking lot.

so we hug and he gets into blaque betty. uh, that's the name of my car, not the name for my vagina, so you nasty asses can get your minds out of the gutter.

we head to coco loco and get a table. the conversation flowed nicely. he's a cool cat. i think we spent about a good hour sitting there talking and eating. then i drove him to the apache cafe where he was gonna be attending the chuck d album release party later that evening. i drive him back to the 'triple c' and we sit in the car and talk for a while. there were some really strange sights around us. one caucasian guy, a bit bloated from much drink, was pacing back and forth in front of my car, obviously waiting for someone. hassan and i kept stopping the conversation to look at the cat cuz frankly, it was dark at that point and liquor makes folk act a fool. a white guy jumping on two black folk ain't no thing when he's got liquor in him.

he eventually disappeared. we talk some more. behind hassan's shoulder i see three guys walking in the direction of my car. three really tall caucasians, older, and dressed in full village people attire. i guess all three decided to be the biker/leatherman cat in the group. yeah, i stopped whatever i was saying in mid-sentence and watched them walk by, my eyes wide with shock and surprise. yeah, i laughed at the image, but only cuz those outfits were hella tight. i mean, i think those outfits fit those twenty years and fifty pounds ago. they walked with pride though, so i couldn't be mad at it.

hassan and i talk for a while longer and then it was time for me to bounce. a few observations:

1. hassan is just as nice, intelligent, gracious, funny, and gifted with the lyrics in person as he is on his blog. he's also got a sexy chicago accent to go with his 'spoken word artist and mc' voice.

2. coco loco's plantains aren't as good as they used to be. not sure why, though.

3. hassan's motel didn't look all that bad when i got up close on it. it had floor to ceiling glass in the front of the room next to the entry. then again, that was a peepshow waiting to happen.

4. i had to rename hassan's motel 'contageous coochie and cock cottage' cuz i saw more guys there than women. you deduce from that what you wanna.