Wednesday, March 08, 2006

why the fuck?

1. why the fuck the academy of hollywood fucks always nominating black folk in their worst moment? 36 mafia as a pretend hip-hop group ...denzel as a bad guy ...halle as some chick taking it up the ass...terrance howard as some cat pimping his hoe... is it that hollywood only think it's 'real' if black folk in roles reflect the socioeconomic inequality we all know exists? does hollywood feel the only time a black person's performance is relevant is when we get gritty in the ghetto? if we do corporate or positive or powerful, are we not being 'black' enough, instead reflecting 'white' traits that somehow makes the role about black folk impersonating white folk and therefore, makes the performance less authentic?

2. and speaking of terrance come almost every time i see a fine black male actor he's married to someone other than a black woman? this ain't me hating on white folk. this is me noticing a trend where the fine brothas aren't seeing sistas as possible life mates. shit, even the broke brothas ain't choosing us. what the fuck is up with that? here's just the short list of well-known brothas kicking black women to the curb:

1. terrance howard
2. taye diggs
3. donald faison
4. derek luke
5. sidney poitier
6. quincy jones
7. james earl jones
8. harold perrineau
9. dule hill
10. seal

yet these same cats are in movies marketed SPECIFICALLY TO BLACK WOMEN cuz they fine brothas and we're supposed to be all up on 'em. again, i'm looking for an answer, not trying to bust up white women who get with black men. for that matter, someone tell me where are all of the fine white male actors who are married to black women? hmmm...short list, right?

i'm just trying to figure out how come i gotta go to the fulton county jail if i wanna see some black on black love.

3. how the fuck did the nfl manage to hire only two black coaches out of the ten vacancies this offseason? and they were fucking RECYCLED. herman edwards was basically traded to kansas for a recipe and a pair of socks, and art shell became the raiders coach for the second fucking time, the equivalent of reusable toilet paper cuz al davis is gonna be shitting all over his ass. but why? why were there only two out of ten? for real though...the majority of players in the nfl are black. i'm not saying this means the majority of coaches should be black. i'm saying that considering the fact that most of the players are black, there should be more than enough black candidates knowledgeable about the sport to consider hiring as a coach.

4. and another thing...why the fuck the nfl owners and players association can't come to some kind of agreement? i swear this is some kind of contest to see who's got the bigger dick. from what i can tell, all of them are acting like fucking eunuchs. GET THE GAWTDAMN DEAL DONE.

5. how come when people die, the fucked up shit they did is forgotten? kirby puckett was smacking up on women and kicking animals. good player...questionable in other areas...that's all i'm saying. brotha had some great qualities but let's not martyrize him.

6. why the fuck when it's all said and done, gordon parks will be remembered more for making shaft than he will be for his honest and raw photography of the black experience in america (which was way more fucking significant)? not that i didn't dig shaft but really, parks was a pioneer on more levels than just being one of the first folk to start the trend of blaxploitation films.

7. why the fuck is the nfl combine even necessary? how fast a guy runs on an empty field don't have shit to do with how fast he's gonna be running his routes during the game. jerry rice wasn't all that fast when timed, but he was burning folks left and right once he was in a game situation. just cuz a cat bench presses a certain weight doesn't mean he's worth a shit on the offensive or defensive line. tony mandarich anybody??? and can anybody put a timer or a measure on heart, the most important component of all when it comes to playing successfully in the nfl? uh, no.

and is that fucking quarterback bullshit test just another tool the nfl is gonna use to curb the drafting of black quarterbacks? someone show me why that fucking test is necessary. please.

8. why the fuck is bobby cox still managing the braves? neva mind that question, cuz when the braves suck this year he's gonna retire.

9. how the fuck people see my locs and assume i'm some kind of mother earth being, 5 percenting, positive shit spitting, rasta with a cloud of weed smoke forever hovering around me? and why the fuck do some sistas with relaxed hair see my locs and PITY ME? i'm me. i'm nikki. sometimes i eat the pig. sometimes i fart. sometimes i scratch my ass in public. i ain't trying to be positive all the time cuz sometimes folk need to hear the negative. and the sistas who wanna pity me cuz of my locs? for the record, they're lower maintenance than your relaxed hair so i don't want or need your fucking pity.

10. why the fuck when people think i'm sleepy they assume i'm stupid too? i know i don't make sense some of the time when i'm sleepy and i might not even remember much of the conversation the next day if you're talking to me when i'm tired, but don't think i don't notice shit. just know i know what the fuck you did and it was a punk ass move.

11. why the fuck females still can't be friends with each other? why i gotta curb my shit so you can feel good about yourself? i do me. you do you. it's all good. there are brothas everywhere and i'm sure there's one just for you, so why you gotta fuck shit up by feeling threatened by me? we're in this shit together! stop trying to tear me down just so your shit can shine brighter. that ain't a good look, ma.

12. why the fuck donovan mcnabb still wearing braids? dude, don't you see your hairline receding? do i have to pull out a fucking photo of jerry rice for you to understand just how fucking unattractive that shit is? it's aiight, donovan. your manhood will still be intact even if you lose all of your hair, but i will damn sure laugh in your face if i see you in the street sporting a cornrow that began near the nape of your neck.

13. why the fuck isn't allen iverson invited to try out for the u.s. national basketball team? what kind of fucking reason is "we need team players" when this cat is ranked EIGHTH IN ASSISTS PER GAME. admit to the real reason. you don't want a cornrow sporting, tattoo wearing, don't give a fuck being brotha from the hood representing the image of the nba and ESPECIALLY the u.s.. you know it and i know it. you don't think the individual expression of brothas from the hood is a good look. you think that shit is tacky and base and makes the nba look like a league full of drug dealers and the u.s. look stupid cuz it made a bunch of ignant niggas into icons. TELL THE TRUTH.

14. how the fuck you think you don't harbor some ignorance regarding black folk just cuz you got a college degree? ever hear yourself say about a black person "she's so well-spoken!" after she told you she was going home and not 'to the fucking crib' or "she does such an amazing job" after she sharpened your pencils without breaking any? in other words, check how you set the low standards for black folk and then tell me you don't have just a little ignorance when it comes to us. i'm supposed to be fucking well-spoken. i'm supposed to do a good damn job. do you get all orgasmic if becky knows how to use fucking computer software? then don't get all gassed up cuz i do cuz if i'm in your work environment, guess what? nine times out of ten i had to be overqualified to get the fucking job ANYWAY so you getting all starry-eyed just cuz i used two independent clauses to make a complex sentence is the equivalent of you assuming black folk are stupid.

see, this is just the tip of the fucking iceberg for me. i'm seeking truth, folk. i'm seeking the real, not that shit that's put up to make it seem like the world and folk are perfect.