i'm sitting here looking out of my office window into a sky grey with turbulent thoughts of rain. i haven't yet turned on the lights in here, so the brightest thing going is my monitor.it's downright gloomy up in this piece. i thank god for the breathe given to me so that i can be here to experience it.
i am thankful for...
...my brother aswad who yet again showed me why he is one of the people i admire most when he told me he was glad that girl wasn't dead cuz it meant her baby girl would have her momma around.
...my mom who STILL don't know how to keep a secret, but in the end said what needed to be said.
...hassan and his gratitude post from last week. i've been trying to find the right words to express just how moved i was by your words and damnit if i still can't come up with them. maybe they haven't been invented yet. special shout outs go to divinelavender and soul and mizjj for your personal words of encouragement and empowerment as well as the rest of my favorite bloggers who voiced your support during that time.
...the week of institutional vacation i get as a result of working at a school. it almost makes up for the pay...almost. :)
...his finger caressing the shell of my ear, for his calm sea against the storm of my fears, for the blessing of him being here
...my girl candice who no matter what, will call me and check in on me, even though i have made a point of being a trife friend who don't stop by or call a negro as much as i should
...aquababie's entry about her dad. this morning while reading it i was reminded of how beautiful love can be between father and daughter and that black men DO step up to handle the biz of raising their kids. her father can't help but be proud of the woman she has become and she reflects all that was good about her dad.
...both ladylee and chele and their beautifully rendered stories as well as their courage in the expressing of their own internal battles (even the battles lost). i'm telling you right here right now that i look to you both and see pieces of what i want to be. your blogs are where i run to when i want to see with my own eyes that women are indeed strong, indeed capable of making a way for ourselves and our loved ones, indeed talented enough and determined enough to pursue our dreams. you show me women can live enriched lives without having to cave into the notions of a society that likes to make us feel as though our existences aren't validated unless we have a man who tells us it's valid. you give emotional support without hesitation and encouragement without reservation. you two are fearless, not because you have no fear, but because you act in spite of your fear. thank you for blessing all of us with your writings and your beautiful spirits.
...honeylibra and her candor and her vulnerability and her just telling the damn thing, even when she knows some folk are gonna be like "oh no you didn't!". oh, and for her euphemisms that always make me smile and immediately add them to my daily vernacular when i read them on her blog. i have already used "sam nation" like twenty times. in a minute i will have cut out all the cussing from my speech (if not from my blog. LOL)
...knowing that no matter what i go through, the results are in preparation for my next battle.
...the insight necessary to recognize sometimes i let that inner voice prevent me from doing what i need to do and that sometimes i need to listen to the outer voices instead.
...the gray skies...cuz the sun is at it's brightest when it's breaking through them...
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i know a bunch of bloggers are hitting the roads today and tomorrow to head home to see fam. i am praying for your safe journey there and back and for you to enjoy the time you have with those you love.
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