Thursday, December 14, 2006

thankful thursday

look, before you click on the 'x' let me explain. this week it's especially important for me to give thanks and that means putting off the story for yet another day. surely you understand right? what? you don't?'s like THAT now? after all i've done for you?


thank you first to god for the blessing of every moment. i might not always appreciate what i'm going through at that time, but at least i'm alive to experience it.

thank you to the bloggers who showed me support last week during 'the incident' and continue to show me support in its aftermath. regardless of how things played out, there is enough care around blogland for people to sincerely watch out for each other. i never doubted your intelligence and your ability to discern the truth from the nontruth.

thanks to jonterri, who has shared her insight which has allowed me to really let some stuff go and grow. she is courageous enough to extend a hand of friendship my way. the past is the past. anyone trying to drum it up? that's on them.

thanks for the power of forgiveness. trish emailed me yesterday and apologized. i accepted it. now before some of you get outraged, think about it. to not forgive is to keep holding onto whatever emotion associated with that person, thus giving that person power of you. i forgive her because
1. i'm not above making my own mistakes
2. i'm not the judge or jury here
3. to forgive is to release it
4. there's no way for me to know her mind and what motivated her and others to participate in the situation.

in other words, i only had part of the tale and i guessed at much of it. bottom line is the only folk who know the full unadulterated truth are the people involved. now this doesn't mean i've forgotten her actions or the negative responses and the attempt to discredit me and i will not be looking to associate with her or anyone else intimately involved in that situation. however, i thought it was important i let you know she at least apologized, and that has to mean something.

thank you for the sun that has been shining steady all week. it's hard to be down when i've got the sun beaming its warmth and light through my windows.

thanks for the conversation i had with granny last night. i think she has finally accepted the inevitability of her situation. she actually sounded strong for the first time in months, but i know it's cuz she was so weak during the chemo and radiation treatments. now that the treatments are over, i hope she's able to get some quality out of remaining months or years or however long she's here. i will force myself past the fear to embrace her and let her know i'm around and i love her.

thanks for the strength to sever ties with people who aren't trustworthy. you know, even good people sometimes have too much time on their hands and find themselves behaving in ways that betrays folk around them. i've been there, done that, and learned from it. trust has to be earned on both sides and i'm sure my actions made me not worth trusting during that time, but i am reminded yet again that if you can't say it in the light, don't whisper it in the dark.

thank you for the open heart that has allowed me to accept people into my life and the mindset to find a lesson in all situations. no matter what, life is for living and that means taking the seeds from every situation to grow a fruitful future. i can't do that if i turn away from people because of the baggage of distrust given to me by a situation or i don't see the good in a situation because it's a struggle.

thank you to my readers who've been here through everything. i draw strength and happiness from you. at times it is the light of your wisdom that guides me when i'm too blind to see it for myself. i'm sooo grateful for all of you.

aiight, now tell me this post wasn't necessary! you can't possibly still be mad at me for not posting the story. what? YOU ARE? damn...IS THERE NO PLEASING YOU?!?