Wednesday, June 14, 2006

torched singer

eleanor found hell within her body, flames of self-hatred licking angrily at the frayed edges of gangly limbs, a developing skeleton of underformed breasts and narrow hips splattered with skin the color of sun-dusted mud. strokes brushed broken by a displaced angel formed her into mostly angles, an incompleted canvas bereft of deft curves. her good was neglected, her 'goods' left infected from the diseased desire of adulterating men.

there was no light
yet she saw sin.

peddling her tainted vessel for pennies, she fucked for her freedom, eager to seek a way out of the bleak tick tock of bought time others sought between her bowed knees. years spread her thighs wide, the hours raping her with minute strokes while passing her around for sloppy seconds. endless encounters of jism spent upon her pubic hairs laid her legs like bricks cemented to relenting, yet she still ain't make enough to pay the rent.

it was at this time her voice came heaven-sent.

"You're making me blue
All that you do

Seems unfair
You try not to hear
Turn a deaf ear
To my prayer
It seems you dont want to see
What you are doing to me
My arms are waiting to caress you
And to my heart they long to press you, sweet heart

My heart is sad and lonely
For you I cry
For you, dear, only
I tell you I mean it
I'm all for you
Body and soul..."

eleanor became billie, her change from 'lady of the night' to 'lady day' an attempt to imbue light into the darkness. but her voice was enflamed starkness and revealed her inner burn in every song. she could never shed the remembered pain of semen stains upon her soul.

her internal inferno seared holes into her vocal cords from where her voice curled and unfurled in cindered chords from tinder lips, the lyrics singed into embers of fervent yearning.

"...I spend my days in longing
And wondering it's me you're wronging
Why haven't you seen it
I'm all for you
Body and soul..."

the cooling hues of the blues were meant to soothe her but instead they were transformed into an indigo explosion infused with her flame, her voice becoming a diamond pressed into existence with the persistent squeezing of daily strain. it conducted her heat, manipulating sound as it fractured the blues into a melange of emotions, reflecting ever-changing inflections of sensuality and suffering. at times it caressed the chords like a tender lover's labia lapping, seducing sound to flow in orgasmic release down the open mouth of a tongue-thrusting trumpet. other times it struck a chord hard like a raging pimp's slapping, smashing through the piano's ivory teeth, leaving the song to continue on with a black and bruised b-flat. during times when lady sang the booze, her voice's shine was steeped in wine. it reeked of wrecked refrains, stumbling drunkenly over phrases before falling in an unconscious heap upon the saxaphone, snapping its neck as it gasped out the final note.

"...Life's dreary for me
Day's seem to be long as years
I've looked for the sun
But can see none
Through my tears
Your heart must be like a stone
To leave me like this alone
When you could make my life worth living
By taking what I'm set on giving, sweet heart..."

hell became her addiction, heroine the self-inflicted stick of dynamite she detonated within her veins. the continuous eruptions of drug induced euphoria left her a hard and shriveling shell of her never self. her voice was a cluster of cubic zirconias falling from wilted lips, fabricating melody easily cleaved into unremarkable shards of glass. it was whispered smoke of a remembered wildfire, too weak to climb but a few scales at a time. it had peaked years before...before the fire outside stole the oxygen from the one burning within.

"...My heart is sad and lonely
For you I cry
For you, dear, only
I tell you I mean it
I'm all for you
Body and soul"

no longer burning
she was burnt out
her inner light
had been snuffed out
with a yearn that went
a lifetime unfulfilled
she sold her body...
then her voice...
very cheaply, both by choice...
and got nothing other than a
bitter pill

i hope this won't be me...