the token negro speaks...into a fucking vacuum

what am i to them? am i 'that black chick' or do they not note my brown skin at all? how could they possibly overlook such a distinctive characteristic when it's the one of only two things separating my appearance from that of everyone else? (the other being my locs). i'm sure they don't.

they knew exactly what the fuck they were doing when they hired me.

that lone bit o'coffee to go in a cup o'cream.
that dollop of chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream.
that black stain on a pristine white blouse.

i'm that token negro.

what da hell is a 'token negro', you ask? i pulled out my dictionary o'colored folk terms to find out.

token negro - n. (derived from the language of white corporate guilt and affirmative action initiatives.) the existence of less than .1% of black folk in the department/ division/ lab/ company. her existence is pivotal in creating the elusion of tolerance and diversity. she will be over-qualified and underpaid for her job and will be held up to a higher standard of behavior and work habits than her white counterparts. she will accept this as par for the course and simply revel in the fact that she was lucky enough to get in the door.

her job will be one in management only if she has obtained at least one academic degree more than all her counterparts and she can expect to hit the 'glass ceiling designating a lack in equal opportunity for advancement of black folk' within five to seven years of being employed with the organization. at this point, she will become an embittered negro and decide to either leave the organization for another position where the process starts over again or start her own business with the express intent of gaining contentment without having to sacrifice her humanity in the process.

used in a sentence: that token negro betta watch her back cuz they only need one of her and her ass can be replaced.

as one of only three black folk in a lab of over 150, i'm acutely aware of the precarious nature of my position. on the one hand, i could be arrogant about it. i mean, they need my black ass, right? my presence guarantees that the naacp won't be stopping by the offices with a demand for my boss to hire more black folk. me being here means there will be no group of angry negro folk with picket signs out front marching in circles while singing "we shall overcome" and formulating plans of staging sit ins in the department's breakroom.

then again, i'm one of three black folk, which means they can get rid of me and still have two in the cage, ready to be lead out before the masses to dispel any notions of racism existing within our organization.

so basically i'm the equivalent of a rick fox. role player who don't look half bad but in the end, i'm easily replacable.

are you a token, too?

do you have white friends who see you as that black associate they can flaunt to others as proof they're not racist?

"...i have a coloured friend. so you see, i'm not racist."

"do you actually hang out with this 'coloured' friend?"

"sure. we work in the same building. every now and again i see her in the hallway as i'm turning to run in the opposite direction."

"why are you running in the opposite direction?"

"cuz that's where the bathrooms are."

"so you running away from her has nothing to do with her being 'coloured'. you had to pee."

"look, i told you i'm not racist. i've eaten with her a few times."

"really? did you talk to her?"

"uh, no. i didn't want to disturb her."

"but you were eating with her. isn't that the point? to talk?"

"well actually, we weren't sitting at the same table."

"well then you weren't eating together."

"we were eating at the same time. surely that accounts for something?"

"you don't mind breathing the same air as her. that's what that means."

"yes. if i were racist i'd have an adversion to that."

"uh, just so you know...just cuz you tolerate her doesn't mean you're not racist."

"look here. i don't go burning crosses on lawns or wearing white hoods or calling people nigger. i am NOT a racist."

"have you ever spoken to a 'coloured' person and found yourself shocked because the person was articulate? have you then raved to other folks about how articulate and intelligent that 'coloured' person is, as if these are rare traits to be found in such people"

"but i'm complimenting them!"

"have you ever witnessed a 'coloured' co-worker at work and marveled at the fact that he or she knows things that would not make you marvel if that co-worker had been white, like being able to use 'sophisticated' software like microsoft word?"

"well that is a pretty difficult program to master..."

"what about a 'coloured' person's temperment? have you ever hesitated before causing conflict with her out of a fear that she will exhibit a lack of control and 'go off' on you?"

"but they are rather passionate in nature..."

"would you be cool with your daughter marrying a 'coloured' man?"

"i don't see what my daughter has to do with this..."

"my point is this...racism isn't just the shit folk do like drag folk behind pick ups and it ain't an affliction patented by a few mullet-wearing white folks driving pick ups and swigging beer from the front porch of their trailers in south georgia. having a college education or living in a metropolitan area doesn't automatically grant you a free pass from racist behavior. think about that shit next time you see your 'coloured friend'."

"i will not think about it because there's nothing to think about. when i see her, i speak. i'm cordial to her. i think she's articulate and intelligent. i don't run from her when i see her and we've even made small talk from time to time."

"i have some questions for you."

"out with it. i don't have all day."

"do you see 'coloured' folk as equal to you in every way? do you think they're just as capable as you are mentally and physically? do you feel that if the playing field in america and around the world were truly level that 'coloured' folk would be just as successful as their white counterparts in all endeavors both personal and professional?"

pause

"what are you talking about?!? the playing field IS level!"

"you really believe that? i see this is gonna be harder than i thought..."

____________________________________

see, this is the conversation i want to have with at least one of my co-workers. i wonder how they'd answer my questions? would they be offended because i brought the 'race' thing up? would they assume i'm looking for them to feel guilt because of how black folk have been treated by white folk in america and beyond? would they assume i fault them personally for that?

i'm not sure, but i'm starting to think that kind of discussion is on the horizon.