Friday, June 30, 2006

so i finally get around to this damn meme...

let me first say that i know i'm a trife mothafucka for waiting almost a month to complete this thing. sowise tagged me way back on june 1. all i can say is that...well, fuck it. i don't have anything to say. i'm doing it today cuz i'm lazy and uninspired.

so here goes...

Keep it Real...(as if there were any other way to be...i'm a human being, not an orgasm...)

1. If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be?

writing...and breathing.

2. If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be?

why would i wanna waste a perfect good slap on a famous person when there are so many people i know who deserve it more, like my boss. i just wanna smack him in the mouf one time for all the times he said "we've got to complete this project by (insert ridiculously unrealistic date here)" what the fuck does he mean by "we" when his part in the "we" scenario is him basically sitting back on his ass while i do all the damn work.

then again...i would like to slap pari.s hil.ton. i saw some footage the other week where she had some guy who was evidently one of her puppets, talking shit about lindsay loham. now i'm not one of lindsay's fans but damn...some of the shit he said was harsh and paris just sat there giggling and whispering into her phone while he looked like her bitch spewing all that hatred. doesn't she have anything better to do with her time than sic her malicious pet upon another celebrity? just go away already.

3. What's the dumbest decision you've made in the past 5 years?

letting others impose upon me what their definition of happiness is and me buying into it. i'll never do that shit again.

4. Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music.

i've gone this long without good sex so i guess i could go a little longer (although not much...)

5. Dudes, would you rather have a big dick or a great sense of humor?

Ladies, nice tits & azz or common sense?

i've got nice tits and ass and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. give me the common sense, damnit.

6. So you've been invited to an all expense paid Blogger Prom in The Bahamas. You're sitting at the bar on the beach. Which blogger do you want to join you for hours of good convo?

that'd be scarlettrae. we've already had hours of good conversation so i know she's good for it.

7. Which blogger would you most like to cuddle with on the beach? (and don't defer to your current signif other either. Infidelity won't count against you. Duh.)

jerome, but only if by 'cuddling' you mean 'fucking the shit out of each other'.

and no, i'm not linking his shit.

8. You're going on a 5 hour road trip...which 5 CDs do you bring?

1. frank sinatra - the reprise years
2. earth, wind, & fire - greatest hits
3. marvin gaye - best of marvin gaye
4. no doubt - tragic kingdom
5. stevie wonder - songs in the key of life (disc 2)

9. Would you rather bury your children young or have your children bury you young?

really...who would prefer to bury their kids?!?

10. What's your biggest insecurity?

my weight. even at my skinniest i thought i was fat. comes from growing up in a household where everybody was skinny and making comments like "don't you think you've had enough to eat?" or "a second helping?!? you sure you need that?"

11.What's the first blog you read every day...or however often you read them? (And I swear to God, don't be saying mine just cuz I'm the one asking...unless of course you really mean it. lol)

ladynaynay, cuz i know she's posted something and it's gonna be interesting. i love her pooka and school stories and her sense of humor always makes me smile. i don't think that woman has gone a day during the week without posting something. i just love her blog :)

12. When's the last time you peed your pants?

does the little "i'm frantically running to the bathroom before i pee in my pants" trickle count? if so, then about a month ago.

13. Which was better, your first kiss or your first pay check?

my first kiss SUCKED. let's just say there were alot of kids around and i didn't know what da fuck i was doing.

i'll take that first paycheck from mc.donal.ds, please. yeah...the one that paid me about a hundred and twenty bucks for two weeks worth of work.

14. Do you have kids? Want kids?

i have kids (the ones i mentor, that is). i want kids very, very badly.

15. You get dropped off at home after the office holiday party by your bitch azz boss that you can't effing exit the car and he peels out, runs a red light at your corner and rolls up an unsuspecting midget. The next day the midget watch groups are on TV outraged at the heartless hit and run, and are calling for any witnesses to please come fwd...that half dead midget has a family at home waiting on C-mas presents. Would you take $1000 hush money? $500? $100? A six pack?

i'd send that mothafucka to jail and not because he's a spineless bastid (which he is), but because he hit a midget and that's just wrong unless you're hitting one from behind, in which case it's just nasty.

16. Live the rest of your life without your eyebrows or your fingernails?

i gotta have my fingernails. i can pencil in eyebrows.

17. What makes you angry?

purposefully ignorant people
complacent people
passive people
people who don't hold themselves accountable for the shit they do
abusive people
injustice anywhere

18. What makes you horny?

breathing him and breathing and him.

19. What makes you nervous?

getting a phone call too late in the night to be a booty call (that's between the hours of 3 a.m. and 6 a.m.)

20. What makes you smile?

talking to my brother
reading great blogs like yours :)
football season
this little one right here...