yesterday was a lazy day...

it began in darkness, the storm outside a tired fury like a baby on her last hiccups after a long wail. it rolled noisily upon the overcast pallet of the sky, mustering up just enough bluster to bend tree trunks, severing leaves from their extended limbs.

i lay fetal beneath my covers, content in the spot of warmth i'd created as i contemplated the cramps seizing my cervix.

they'd begun in earnest.

i'd awoken to them twisting within me, their convulsive canter causing me to curl myself more tightly as they ran along side the rain outside, the pitter-patter of their feet in time with the bitter splatter of the droplets slamming incessantly against my bedroom's glass eye.

will this end before my work day begins?

seven screamed its arrival into my ear and i smacked it into momentary silence. shut up! i know what time it is damnit.

ten minutes before i need to be in the shower.
twenty minutes before i need to be getting dressed.
thirty minutes before i need to be walking out of the door.
forty minutes before i need to be walking into my office door.

i had nine minutes to figure out what i really needed.

thunder clapped within my womb as outside the branches snapped and shattered upon impact with the ground.

i groaned and wrapped my arms around my abdomen, my body a hard knot of hurt. my eyes remained closed, as though the absence of light would leave the cramps confused and unable to continue with their assault.

before seven-ten could begin bellowing, i was grabbing for its lips to squeeze them shut. i know, i know...i should be in the shower.

but my body wouldn't cooperate. it was probably because my mind's demands were uttered too weakly.

"you know we need to go to work, right?" whispered my mind, without force.

"man, fuck work," my body responded breathlessly as the cantankerous contractions continued clamoring my cervix, "that shit can wait until tomorrow."

"but we've got a couple of important documents due today! who's gonna create that registration form if we're not there??" my mind was being a whiny bitch.

"do you think i give a shit about those documents? what about me??? those people don't care if i'm feeling aiight or not. all they care about is whether or not the fucking work gets done." my body was starting to roar its dissent to my mind. i could feel my mind shrinking beneath the force of reason.

"you're right," my mind exclaimed, "last time i convinced you to go in when you weren't feeling well i had to work extra hard just to stay on my shit. nobody offered to relieve me. nobody told us to go home. they just sat around and watched you suffer. man, FUCK them."

my body hadn't actually won that argument. my mind, being the selfish bitch she is, was all set to make my body suffer...that is until she remembered how poorly she'd been treated the last time she made the sick body go to work. she thinks the sun rises and sets with her. conceited heffa.

"we're calling in, damnit." said my mind.

and then it became an exercise in creating an acceptable excuse.

"good morning dan, this is nikki. i'm not coming in today because i'm not feeling well."

that's too vague. dan is a nosey mofo who gotta know everything going on with his employees.

"good morning dan, this is nikki. i'm laying in my bed right now clutching my abdomen while the most heinous pain i've ever experienced is slicing through my gut like a set of kitchen knives. just imagine blood stains everywhere and my liver dangling from the side of the bed..."

lawd...my mind was in overload...

"good morning dan, this is nikki. i'm experiencing pain of a feminine matter and will not be in today. if you need me, you can reach me at home."

i called his office, left the message, then rolled over in my bed and slept. that is, until i got up, grabbed my laptop, and got online.

to read blogs.

and talk to my folk via im.

so i was feeling crappy, but not too crappy as to interfere with my usual habit of reading blogs and chatting. at least, for the most part.

sorry to the folk who were talking to me when i kept disappearing throughout the day without notice. i kept falling asleep.

or doubling over in pain.

oh yeah...how come if i tell a guy it's a 'female thing' the automatic response from him is "say no more!"

and why is the second automatic response "are you pregnant?"

'female thing' is not to be equated with 'i'm pregnant', dig?

aiight, i'm done. back to work.