Monday, August 18, 2008

random musings monday

saturday, august 16
12:01 a.m. him: where u at?
12:05 me: arizona, over by ston.ecrest. where u at?
12:10 him: can i come over ma ma?
12:12 me: i'm not at home
12:17 him: can i come over ma ma?
12:19 him: can i come over ma ma?
12:20 him: can i come over ma ma?
12:30 ole girl, who just so happened to be out with me [from parking lot to me in the restaurant]: i am so tired of the not so complexed non complexities of life that really don't exist
12:31 me: PREACH (although i really didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, but figured she was ranting and needed some positive reinforcement)
12:39 him: we gon get up tonight?
12:43 me: NO
12:51 VID 00004.3gp sent to a different him: me right now [email with video attachment of band we vibing with outside]
1:17 original him: u my peoples?
1:24 me: what does that mean?
1:26 original him: nik i like u, i want u to be safe
1:30 me: im safe
1:32 him: U love!
1:36 me: U drunk!

alright gang, pop quiz:

1. at which point did original him pretty much guarantee he won't be getting any ass from me? u get a cookie if you guess correctly.
2. why do folk text when they're drunk? isn't that the equivalent of operating heavy machinery while heavily medicated? at the very least it's like jacking off for ten minutes before you realize you got your hand on someone else's dick
3. isn't 'not so complex' and 'non-complexities' the same damn thing?

what i'm beginning to realize is that navigating the dating sea means every now and again running into icebergs of idiocy.

okay, what fool thought it was a good idea to hold a live draft on saturday at 10:15 p.m.? did i join a league full of guys living in their parents basement, plastered to computer chairs encrusted with old ejaculation? who da hell is gonna be home on a saturday night for a live draft?!? if i hadn't bitched about it, i'd probably have been stuck with rex *that mofo's a* grossman as a starting qb. *shudders*

if a guy tells you he:

1. will drive you to charlotte in his car and
2. pay for the entire weekend (to be fair, we would have been staying with mutual friends so he wouldn't be paying for a whole lot)

is he being completely honest when he says "i just wanted to hang out as friends"?

kat came and picked up assassin yesterday, leaving me with one less cat to get rid of. she says she's gonna stop through to get le tigre at the end of the month. in the meanwhile, le tigre has gotten really needy and whiney. i'm not sure if it's because his in-house piece is gone (assassin was a female) but imma have to remind him my leg isn't a pussy and i'm just not all that sympathetic to a man's needs right now, even the four-legged ones.

so i'm exiting my spot yesterday afternoon and i run into blade next door. recap on blade:

1. he's black
2. he's relatively attractive (although not really my type)
3. he's got a bit o'money to burn (convertible sedan bmw in driveway)
4. he's educated (and just enrolled into school to get his ph.d.)
5. he's a snappy dresser (aiight, this one here is a stretch. last time i checked him he had on an all-white outfit with some fire-engine red gator shoes. he brought to mind casper floating over his own entrails.)
6. he's gay *le sigh*

and turns out, he's got excellent taste in men. he drives up with his newest dick in a box, a tall bottle of kahlua complete with broad chest, bald head, and salt/pepper goatee. i didn't even play it off when i was checking him. dude was dressed nicely casual in a soft green cotton polo top and loose fitting jeans that did nothing to hide the slight bow to his legs. then he spoke and it was like he was pouring his voice into the air and serving it to my ears. for the first time in my life i was mourning the fact i wasn't naturally attached to a dick. he was:

1. educated
2. fiscally comfortable
3. witty
4. fione

after making small talk with the two of them, i got in my car, backed out the drive, and drove away. the smile i had bricked to my face crumbled into dust as soon as they were out of view.

really, it just fucking sucks to be a single straight black sista in da atl. *smh*

email from hipdoc:

With the start of the new year I thought we should sit down and discuss the last several months and the future. When this week are you free?

cynical me read it like:

you're a new piece and i thought you should sit on my lap and take dicktation. i'm assuming your services are free?

my responding email:

I’m available today from noon to five, tomorrow from noon to 1 p.m., and the remainder of the week between 3-5 p.m. Let me know what works for you. [it took me ten minutes to send that email because i spent 9 minutes, 30 seconds fretting over the word 'available']

i think i'm gonna request a chaperone for this meeting, cuz i would really hate to get ethnic on this cat if he tries something.

ended the weekend on the phone with peii. gawtdamn that cat is just sexy.

aiight, so perhaps it doesn't suck all that much to be a single straight sista in da atl...