i got a divorce for THIS shit?

friday, august 22
10:11 p.m. him - i see you
me: SHIT, olegirl! rell is here! *furtively glacing around*
olegirl: who is that? is that the guy you met at dudleys?
me: hell yeah.
i look around but don't see him.
10:13 p.m. - where u at
no answer. i'm beginning to get perturbed. then i'm thinking he's not there and he's just fucking with me.
10:31 - u a lie. what am i wearing?
11:05 - white shirt, blue jeans
shit! he IS here...*furtive glances graduate into bursts of frenzied searches*
11:07 - arizonas
now i'm basically looking every cat in the face like i'm trying to decipher the code in his conduct. a few of them mistook my intent look for interest, which led to a few abrupt words exchanged along the lines of "um, i'm looking for someone...no, not you." 'perturbed' is now full blown irritation.
11:11 - did i look u in the mouth earlier?
olegirl: is that him? i turn and see this well-dressed cat, brown-skinned and relatively non-descript in looks for the most part but he had a certain swagger. i shrug.
11:16 - if i did i don't know. forgot what u look like. LOL
11:17 - nah i walked by u and ur girl
i had to think back...i remembered only two guys walking past our table. one was the cat with the swagger. the other was...the only way i can describe him is by saying he was a wide load sporting black clothes and a chain dangling from his pocket. he was standing relatively close to our table, the sweat glistening from his brow and sliding down from his temples in rivulets. dude just looked hot and moist, but not 'horny vagina hot and moist', this was 'hairy asscrack after a long workout while wearing tight polyester shorts hot and moist'. i was not impressed.
me to olegirl: oh SHIT. you don't think THAT'S him do you?!?
olegirl just snickered. aiight, irritation was evolving into mega pissed. i wanted this shit over.
11:20 - brown pants?
11:37 - u don't remember me
11:40 - okay. when did i see u last? a month ago. how was the lighting? dark. don't be insulted. i wear glasses for a reason.
olegirl gets up to go to the bathroom. while she's gone, a guy walks in front of me. he glances at me for more than a sec, then looks forward. i'm thinking "that's rell..."
me: rell?
dude doesn't answer. stupid me thinks he just doesn't hear me.
me: RELL?!?
i tap the guy on the shoulder. he looks at me like "oh shit...should i know this chick?"
me: are you rell?
dude: errr...i don't think i'm the person you're looking for.
now i'm REALLY pissed cuz not only am i feeling ridiculous, i just accosted a decent looking dude and he's looking at me like i'm crazy. dude gives me one last 'yous a crazy bitch' look before he melts into the crowd. olegirl comes back.
olegirl: i saw you when you stopped him. i tried to get back to let you know he wasn't the guy.
me: how you know?!?
olegirl: rell doesn't have a mole on his face.
me: oh my goodness! what if rell saw that shit go down?!?
we both laugh at the miscue. a part of me is seething though cuz this fool got me on the lookout. i HATE the idea of a cat looking at me from some clandestine spot. i've been stalked before. NOT a good look. i am now officially fed up.
11:49 - why don't u just come to the table and stop playin
11:50 - i left.
WHAT?!?
11:52 - why would u not stop and say hi? really rell.
11:53 - cuz u wuz chillin nik
11:56 - fa real. games are 4 kids. u gonna tell me u see me but not stop through? what kind of shit is that?
11:56 - i walked right by you
11:57 - and didn't stop. what were u waiting for?
11:57 - u mad?
11:59 - any other time u don't wanna be bothered
11:59 - yeah, cuz we been talking on the phone almost a month yet yo ass can't stop and say hi. u gotta send me texts talkin bout you see me. that's some bullshit.
saturday, august 23
12:00 a.m. - lets get up tommorrow. stop by.
12:02 a.m. - nah. u want me to stop by your house when you couldn't stop by my fucking table? nah. fuck that rell. do ya thing papi. out.
me to olegirl: PLEASE tell me this ain't the norm. EVEN IF YOU GOTTA LIE. olegirl just shakes her head.

next day me and olegirl are at phi.pps plaza buying shoes when i get a text.
4:43 p.m. - can we chat about last nite?
*beer face* when i see who sent it. getdafuckouttahere. then i'm thinking perhaps i was too hard on the brotha. i mean, i definitely don't wanna be that sista who doesn't give a brotha chance to explain himself.
4:50 p.m.- sure.
me to olegirl: you will never guess who this is.
olegirl: PLEASE don't tell me it's that tired brotha from last night.
i nod. we both sigh. a minute later the mobile rings. i look at olegirl and roll my eyes before answering.
me: hello?
him: so what's up? you mad?
me: i'm mad at myself for putting up with that shit last night for even a minute. i let it distract me when i should have been having a good time. [and perhaps a little embarrassed that i ended up accosting some cat who wasn't you]
him: here's the deal, nik. i was there with someone.
me: WHAT?!? *rolls my eyes HARD* so you're telling me you were texting me while you were on a date with someone else?
*crickets*
olegirl, who hears my side of the conversation, lets out a groan that sounds like "i told you these brothas ain't shit."
me: why didn't you just say you were there with someone? you know that's tacky, right?
him: come on nik, you not mad are you?
me: my god. are you serious?
him: i'm sayin...now you know why i couldn't just stop and say hello.
me: dude...why in da hell were you texting me while you were on a date?
him: i wanted you to know i was checking you.
me: this is the part where i say i feel special cuz you made the effort to tell me you were 'checking me' when you were with someone else? my god, why am i still talking to you?
him: what can i do to make it up to you?
me: you're not my man, so ain't shit you need to do other than to lose this number. i ain't desperate enough to fuck around with a cat like you. peace. * i pull the phone from my ear and shake my head disbelievingly.*
me to olegirl: can you BELIEVE this fool?!?
olegirl: get ready, cuz there's more where that came from if you're dating men in the atl.
*pause*
me: perhaps i need to look into carpet munching...