Tuesday, July 12, 2005

john the neighbor

the evicted neighbor john still hasn't stopped by to pick up the remainder of his stuff. i've got two big televisions and a bunch of knick knacks on my front porch. i'm not complaining, though. i just wonder what has happened to him. i want to call him, but i don't want him to think i'm pestering him. frankly, i just want to make sure the guy isn't homeless or something. btw, the other neighbor who took some of john's stuff in, told me a week ago that evidently john is addicted to porn. i ask how he would know. he tells me john's bureau (which is currently on his porch) has almost three hundred porn tapes stuffed throughout it. i have to wonder if all of his maturbating distracted him from paying his rent. i know from time to time masturbating is the only thing on my mind, but eventually bills have to get paid. there are priorities, you know?

the neighbor (whose name is also john), is another older white gentleman. however, his daughter is a precocious ten year old who is part black. they have a wonderful relationship and she's smart as hell. john has been extremely friendly with me since he and his daughter moved in. one day i'm standing out in the hallway talking to him about the porn tapes and he tells me he can't do anything with the tapes because none of them had interracial sex scenes. i just looked at him and grinned. he said milk didn't taste good unless it had some chocolate in it. he winked and laughed. wtf?

hell, i didn't know what to do with that there. i normally flirt, but i wasn't sure if he was gonna take my flirting seriously, so i just coughed and ended the conversation with another laugh about the porno tapes before i headed back inside my apartment.

evidently being married means i've got a "fuck me i'm available in a married sort of way" sign on my forehead. then again, talking about porn makes everyone want to fuck, so it probably meant nothing.

damn, here i go talking about sex again. let me call dex. he's got some things to handle...