Wednesday, October 01, 2008

honestly?

thanks to one of my sistas in crime, ms.behaving, for giving me an award for doing what i'm supposed to do. i wonder what sperm donor is gonna get the 'taking care of his kids' award cuz he sent the baby momma some money for diapers.





The rules that accompany it are as follows:

# When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.

# Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

# Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’.

# Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

# List [if you can and or dare] at least ten honest things about yourself.
# And then, pass it on.

aiight...here goes:

1. as soon as i uttered the words "i do" during my wedding i knew i didn't mean them. i spent the rest of the day and subsequent four years trying to convince myself i did.

2. when i heard whenever you're around by jill scott, i swore she was writing about me cuz i was once emotionally unfaithful to my ex towards the end of our marriage. sure i was unhappy and it was pretty much over, but there really is no excuse for that shit. i wondered if i'd ever consider myself to be trustworthy again.

3. i was secretly hoping he would cheat on me so i would have a reason to leave. one time i even checked his email account hoping he was corresponding with another woman and was disappointed when i realized he'd been faithful.

4. i haven't had an orgasm during actual intercourse in over a decade. before? sure. afterwards? no doubt. during? no.

5. speaking of which...there was a hiccup during my ten months of celibacy. i just don't count it as sex cuz it only happened once and was the equivalent of a person being presented a bowl of sand as the first meal after fasting for a year. therefore, i didn't have sex. i had 'what the fuck was THAT shit?!?"

6. looking at how miserable my parents are in their marriage was actually one of the catalysts for me ultimately leaving my ex. married almost 30 years...that's supposed to be an accomplishment, right? i don't care what nobody say...if i've been incarcerated for almost 30 years, ain't shit to celebrate.

7. i masturbate almost everyday. the only time i go longer than five days without masturbating is when i'm on my cycle.

8. i have never ever made love while on my cycle. i was recently offered sex during that time of the month and when i told him i was on my cycle, he was like "and? that's some of the best sex EVAR!"

9. sometimes i feel like being nola darling and keeping a few men around to satisfy all my needs instead of spending so much damn time looking for the one guy who only satisfies most of them.

10. after i was raped, there were a few years i was sexually confused because i thought i wasn't attracted to men. then i slept with a woman and my attraction to men was suddenly restored.

*whew* that was relatively painless...NOT.

here are the folk i pick for the honesty award:

la
ladylee
terry
mike
honey
aquababie
amadeo
que
eb
diva
hawa


hop to it folk.