in

i find myself holding him in.

no screaming my feelings so that they leap from the top of my lungs to sommersault from my mouth before diving into a head-first dispersal of love-tinged verses bouncing off of surrounding ear drums like fingers strumming guitar strings.

no drawing of endless entries illustrating his image in reverent tones of gold inscribed with declarations of my devotion, the words describing him encrusted with diamonds so that folk are left dazzled by the shine of his fine.

nah...fuck THAT. i already know the rarity of his cut. i won't be blinging my feelings for him on this screen.

see, cuz i know how it goes. folk see others in the throes and stick their noses all up in the show cuz they gotta know.

oh but no...

i can't share this...

i am hording everything about him and us and this...

you ever find yourself gifted with a secret? like, you found this really great bakery who makes the most wonderful biscuits and nobody around you knows of the place and for the moment, while it's new to you, you ain't really trying to tell them. you wanna pretend the shop exists for you alone, so fuck sharing the taste of this delicious biscuit with others right?

well, that's how i'm feeling right about now.

i bathe in his attention, sinking supine into its depth until my nose is tickled by the bubbles of his chuckles. he makes me laugh so easily, as though his jokes are flute notes and my mouth but an entranced snake slithering across my face to curve in thrall before him.

but you can't know that...

i collect his thoughts like fireflies, capturing them into jars and placing them into the dark spaces of my soul's abode, his enlightened mediation bringing illumination forging exploration of newfound paths for future contemplation.

but you can't know that...

cuz then i'd be blinging
i'd be flaunting this king clinging to me, making you ask me "what's the name of that bakery again? you got directions?"

and i ain't one for singing

so excuse me while i lick my fingers of his buttery flavor and savor the taste of him on my lips while greedily hording each crumb as they gather in my lap...

then pretend i didn't just tell you all that...