if you could do it over again...

i saw this dude and was like "wow" cuz he was soooooo fine and i looked around to see if he was with anybody and i saw he wasn't and i sighed because he was too fine to be single so i looked at his wedding ring finger and didn't see a band of gold or even that tan band that lets a sista know he took off his ring and stuck it in his pocket before he got out of his car and i got so excited cuz it looked like he was single but then i wasn't sure if he was gay because you know some of the finest brothas these days be gay so my heart sank because there really ain't no way for me to know that without asking him and i wasn't about to ask that guy if he was gay so i just stood there and stared and hoped no guy was gonna walk up to him and pinch him on the ass or take his hand and walk away and after five minutes of me staring at his ass i determined even if he is gay he still fine and maybe i wouldn't mind being a fag hag but then again i know i'd probably end up wanting to fuck him and i don't like sharing and i can't grow a penis so maybe i should just walk away but i don't want to because he really is gorgeous and i figure if i don't see a dick in his ass or mouth right at that moment then he straight until he tell me otherwise and shit he might have like five babies by five different women and i'd rather he be gay than to have five women with five kids all fighting for his attention and calling him at times of the night when they know we doing our thing so they can cock block cuz they know they want him back and then i gotta cuss the heffas out and then they come over and i gotta tell them to chill before i pull out my tub of vaseline and smack 'em in the mouf with it and then i'll end up going to jail for assaulting some chick who really only wanted to talk to the guy cuz her baby needed diapers and he promised he would buy her some but spent the money taking me to the movies instead and then i'd feel guilty cuz while one of his kids was sitting somewhere shitting on himself i was sitting in a theater with a five dollar tub of popcorn sipping on a three dollar drink watching a nine dollar movie so bad it ain't worth five cents and all the while that kid is sitting somewhere shitting on himself and that guy didn't give a shit about it which sucks because a guy should care more about his kids cuz if that were me and my kid and i needed diapers and he was taking someone else to the movies instead of handling his biz i know i'd be sooooo pissed and probably end up having to call that heffa's house cuz he never leaves that place and never answers his cell and that's the only way i can contact his ass and she probably thinks i'm trying to cock block cuz i want his sorry ass back when really i just want him to give me the fucking money so i can get these diapers cuz junior is sick and has diarrhea and the doctor says he's gonna be shitting alot in the next couple of days and i really fucking HATE having to call this cat like this cuz it's not like i wanna spend all my time trying to make this brotha do what he's supposed to be doing cuz shit i've got a job and a kid to take care of and his trife ass ain't helping me with shit and all i asked him to do was give me some money so i could get some diapers cuz my check is already spent on everyfuckingthing ELSE needed to take care of OUR child and instead i gotta go tracking this mothafucka down cuz he lied to me yet AGAIN and i can't fucking BELIEVE i'm in this situation with this cat when we were so careful and there are times i remember back to when we first met and i thought he was soooooo fine and wondered whether or not he was taken or gay when instead i should have been more concerned with whether or not the brotha took care of his responsibilties or if he'd be a good father for any kid that might pop up or if he'd always tell the truth instead of just telling me what i want to hear cuz he don't wanna deal with the drama or if he loved and respected and appreciated his momma cuz brothas who love and respect and appreciate their mommas more times than not know how to treat the woman they fall in love with and we wouldn't have broken up and i wouldn't be sitting here in my car in this heffa's driveway at 3 a.m. contemplating whether i should slash his tires, key his car, bang in his windowshield, or all three just to get my fucking point across that i'm tired of him ignoring me and our kid and not handling his biz and i'm mad at myself for being so caught up in his looks i didn't check his character and my self esteem is low cuz i done put on thirty pounds after having this man's baby and now i'm overweight AND have a kid and what brotha is gonna wanna get with me after that when he can have slim chick with no kids and no drama from the baby's daddy and shit i fucking HATE this mothafucka for turning me into this person i no longer recognize and i swear if i could go back in time and stop myself from talking to his ass i would...